Merry Christmas

Here's wishing everyone a very merry Christmas and a safe and happy New year!

I Am Thankful

 This is going to be a short list, culled from the long list of things I am thankful for.

In no particular order

I am thankful for my relationship with God
I am thankful that I met Bob and he is in my life
I am thankful that most of my family is alive and well
I am thankful for my little dog, Pekoe
I am thankful that I am getting to live the life I want to live
I am thankful that I have everything I need
I am thankful that I (generally) have everything I want
I am thankful that Bob and I are healthy and generally happy
I am thankful that we have enough food to eat
I am thankful that we have really great friends (both cyber and real)
I am thankful that I am able to find more than enough work and still have time to do the other things I want/need to do
I am thankful that, in spite of how screwed up this country may be getting, that I still live in the best country in the world (JMHO)

Of course there is more to be thankful for, so what are you thankful for???

Happy ThanksGiving, Turkey Day, T-Day, TG-Day and all that.


Wretha

Intent and a Big Thanks to a Big Man :)

Life is interesting, the longer I live and the more I work with intention, the more it becomes clear to me that we have a great deal of influence on what happens in our lives. Here is what I mean, my biggest wish that I had was to be able to live off grid, being self sufficient. That has happened for me in a big way, I am getting to live my dream and I didn't have to wait until the end of my life to do it. The next wish I had was to work at the Country Store in the middle of our community. I "put it out there" that I wanted this very bad, I didn't say it to anyone, just to the "universe". I knew that the lady who owned the store had all the help she needed and wasn't looking for anyone. One day, I went into the store and purchased a couple of things. I walked out to go home when "something" stopped me on the porch, I was "told" to go back into the store, I wasn't finished yet. I was prompted to ask the owner about working there, I told her that if she ever needed an extra hand, I was experienced with this sort of work... it turned out that one of the other ladies who worked here had just put in her notice THAT MORNING. The owner had not even had a chance to let the other employee know about it. I was hired on the spot.

Another wish I have relates to being off grid, I wanted to get a chest freezer, these can be converted to be an uber-efficient refrigerator. Again, I "put it out there" that I wanted this and then I let it go, I thought about it every now and again, but didn't dwell on it or worry about it. Today I get a phone call at the store, one of my neighbor's is moving and wanted me to post a message on the community bulletin board, she was selling a chest freezer, she wanted $50 OBO,  I told her that I would have to speak to Bob to make sure, we might want it, then she said for us it would be $25. Wow!

There are so many other things like this that happen on a very regular basis, when I have a need, or even just a want, I have learned to "put it out there" and it usually comes back to me, often better than I even wished for.

I also want to thank Big John, (John knows why), John Lipscom is a very generous man, he knows the power of "putting it out there" and getting great returns. John, is a prolific writer as well as a radio host of his own show, he has many websites and businesses, please give him a visit:

http://bigjohnlipscomb.blogspot.com get ready for a big dose of the TRUTH!
http://www.striderrides.com quality electric bikes
http://youtube.com/bigjohnlipscomb
http://www.donttreadonme.tv
http://www.oldhomesteadgardenseeds.com
http://www.patriotfood.com
http://www.pioneerknives.com
http://www.survivalistseeds.com
http://www.bigjohnsheirloomtomatoes.com
http://saddlecreekhorsesales.com
http://www.jojohorsesales.com

Bloodlines and Points

My bloodlines are many and varied, I am English, Irish, German-Dutch, Comanche and Apache, this is in no particular order, it's merely the order in which I memorized it. I know that my Native American bloodlines were/are very spiritual, I understand that the Irish can be superstitious as well as having a rich spiritual history, I don't know about the English or German-Dutch, I searched and didn't find too much. Though I did find something interesting about one superstition that many people do, it's knocking on wood, I have often wondered where and how that one came about. I found another reason why people knock on wood.

This is for the German ancestors.

When you see your friends at a Stammtisch in a German bar, you have to greet them by knocking on the wooden table 3 times. It is said that most Stammtisch tables used to be made of Oak wood, and the Devil was unable to touch Oak wood, because it was a holy tree. So knocking on the table was proving you weren’t the Devil. source

I have no idea what or who Stammtisch is. OK, a quick toss around Google and I find: The word Stammtisch is German. It is not easily translated into English but it means something like "regular's table" or "regular get-together".

I know I got the Irish and American Indian from my mother, and my mother's side of the family were spiritual in the sense that they could see spirits and spiritual activity. I was told the story of my mother as a young teen, maybe younger than that, she saw a snake going from one bedroom across the hall into her bedroom. This was no ordinary snake, it's body was at least a foot thick, she never saw the head or tail, she got her dad, my grandfather, he saw it too.

They both went into her bedroom to look for this snake, they never found it, I understand my grandfather tore the room apart, even going so far as to take a knife and cut open an upholstered chair just in case it got in there. They never found the snake, nor did they see it again. This snake was much too large to have gotten past anyone, there were no open windows. My grandfather refused to talk about it.

I have been in that house both as a young child, and a teen, that house was very active with spirit activity, I was never completely comfortable in that house. I think there was a lot of unhappiness in that house over the years.

I wonder if my mother's side of the family, being of Irish and Native American descent is the reason why I have been so blessed with the ability to see into the spirit world.

I wonder if just being in a family that was open to and aware of the spirit world was the reason...

I wonder if certain nationalities are more open to that sort of thing? I wonder if it's heredity in the same way hair and eye color can be, or even more like artistic or musical ability.

That's another thing, being artistic and/or musical. I also come from artists and musicians, perhaps that also allows the creative mind to blossom, therefore also being more open to the spirit world.

Perhaps it's like "points", having a Native American and Irish blood gives me a couple of "points", being from musical and artistic people gave me a couple of "points", having an open minded (about the belief in the spirit world) family gives me a "point", rack up enough "points" and boom, eyes open, can see into the spirit world... Maybe if you don't have or get enough "points", you generally don't get to do this.

My father says he really never had experiences like this until he met and married my mother, perhaps my dad had nearly enough "points", being a creative and musical person, and whatever else he had going for him that might allow for this, but not quite enough until he met my mother, that being what pushed it over the top and them boom, his eyes are opened...

All these questions to ponder...

Good or Bad?

Everyone has opinions about spirits, ghosts and other unexplainable, paranormal things. I find many people, though certainly not all people, on the extremes of the scale of whether or not these represent good or evil. Either they believe that all things in this arena are evil, demons, restless spirits with nothing better to do than scare the bejeebers out of us... or they believe it all angelic, higher beings, spirit guides whose sole purpose in life (or after life) is to guide and protect us.

Either these things are all to be feared or all to be believed with no questions asked. I think I fell somewhere in the middle, I certainly don't believe it's all evil, and I certainly don't blindly believe it's all good either.

I generally don't know how to classify what I see, it just "is". Most of the time I see something, or hear something, or smell something, I just observe, rarely interact. I can usually tell the difference between an active entity and a residual (a recording, or memory), though sometimes I don't realize it's a residual until I see it for the second time. There is a good article about residuals on History's Mysteries blog, it's worth a read.

On the rare occasions when I am talking to someone about ghosts and such, more often than not, I get to hear a story about a negative experience, either the thing in the closet that scared them as a kid, the visit from the scary lady in white just before grandma died, the haunted house up the street where the witch lived (kids, don't go there)...

I often wonder why most people have little to no paranormal activity around them, and of the few that do, why does it nearly always seem to be negative or scary? Another thing I notice, is on the rare occasions when I'm discussing this sort of thing with someone, they often start getting scared, jumpy, looking around, it's as if merely talking about might make it happen, or perhaps for a few minutes, they are more open to the spirit world and that scares them. Just about the time I really start getting into the conversation, it's clear that they want to stop talking about it. I know of a few people who don't mind discussing this sort of thing, sadly I don't get to converse with them often enough, at least not often enough for me. That's probably a lot of my motivation for writing this blog.

Fortunately, or not depending on your point of view, with the populatiry of shows like Ghost Hunters and shows like it, it's easier to talk to people about spirit stuff, I can generally figure out is someone is open to the subject merely by asking if they watch that show (or other's like it), if they have watched it, they usually have strong opinions about it, either they think it entertainment only, or they really get into it, either way I can tell by what comes out of their mouth right after that. :-)

Oh well, life goes on... this is message number 49 for this blog. I tend to focus more on my other blogs, about living off grid, something I do every day too. I will give more attention to this blog, post more of my paranormal history, as well as posting my day to day experiences, good and bad.

All Hallow's Eve

Well, it's Halloween, I would be remiss if I neglected a post today/tonight... so here it is.

Honestly it's been fairly quiet, I was at my neighbor's house last night, as usual there were things vying for my attention over there, I was alone, watching TV, a couple of times I could see movement in the hallway, nothing too wild though. Then on 2 occasions, I saw a spark of light, too bright to be mere reflections. I saw them in a pretty short period of time and they happened in nearly the same place. Don't know what those were, they were different from what I usually see over there.

Halloween isn't really a big deal, for me it's Halloween every day, at least that's what I think other people might think of my life. Of course, on Halloween, it's OK to talk about ghosties and goulies, no one looks at you sideways when discussing these things, least of all on this night.

So now I go home from a quiet day working the Country Store. Had a bunch of Halloween candy, you know the really cheap stuff that you used to hate seeing in your bag at the end of the night... ;)

There aren't many children out here so I figured it wouldn't matter THAT much, a few people took some of the candy, perhaps it will remind them of their childhood on All Hallow's Eve.

Shadow Person Sighting

Just a quickie tonight, I worked at the Country Store today (Saturday), I was talking to a friend, he owns property in the neighborhood but doesn't live here, just visits on occasion, maybe the lure of the neighborhood will convince him to visit more often. We have interesting spiritual discussions, these discussion are too few and far between. but it is just how it works out. Anyhoo, we were sitting on the front porch chatting about our latest ghost related subjects, I could see into the store, no one was in the store. I kept seeing a shadow person walking back and front of the drink cooler. I figured my friend would want to know what I seeing right then so I mentioned it. He seemed to be a bit excited about it, he kept looking in the store, trying to see it I think. I did see it again several times after that, each time I would look away from my friend and looked in the store window, he wanted to know if I saw it again. :)

My friend is very observant, especially about people and human interaction, I suspect because of the type of work he did. It was important for him to be able to tell if the people he interacted with on a professional basis were telling the truth, and I believe that many of them were probably highly motivated to lie, or at least stretch the truth from time to time. I'll not go any further in that, but let's just say that it's interesting to interact with my friend as he learns about how much I see into the spiritual world. My friend asked me if things like that ever scared me, and honestly the answer is no, living people scare me more, these shadow beings and other things such as this are no threat to me. Sometimes I get startled, but even that is a fairly rare occurrence any more.

To describe what it looked like, it was short, perhaps 3-4 feet tall, the height of a child, I could see the rounded top of the head, but no other features like shoulders and such. It looked like a very solid, 3D shadow that was walking in front of the drink cooler. I didn't get any feelings from it, I didn't feel like it was good or bad, it was just there. I have never seen this particular one before, at least not that I can recall. I don't know why it was there or what it may have wanted. I guess I need to start carrying my camera and voice recorder with me for these occasions, in the past up until now, I would just observe, I rarely interact except for the occasional comment I might make, like "Yes, I see you...", or "I heard that...", or if they do something like knock something over, I might say "Wow, that was impressive..." or something like that.

I could only see this one for a few seconds at a time, I have successfully trained myself not to look directly at the things I see in my peripheral vision, usually if you look directly at something like that it will usually vanish immediately, the longer I can go without directly looking at it, the longer I can usually see and watch it.

The other thing I feel I should mention here is that I don't control this, I can't make it happen, it is random, often daily, sometimes multiple times a day, I don't go looking for it, I don't try to make it happen, it just does. Now I can make more things happen if I talk about it, but for the most part, it is random.

OK, so this wasn't as much as a quickie as I thought it would be. :)

Corners Collect More Than Dust

I realized today, something that I have seen most if not all of my life, corners seem to collect more than dust. I see more spiritual activity in corners, I am speaking about the corners of rooms, inside corners. I remember as a teen, living in the house where I spent most of my growing up years, there were at least 2-3 corners in the house that had "doorways", places where spirits seemed to come and go. The other corners in that house were not active like those specific ones. I have seen this activity on the floor side of the corners as well as the ceiling corners. Typically where three surfaces come together, not so much in the middle.

At my neighbor's house, there is a particular corner in the hallway that always attracts my eyes. When I am sitting over there, watching TV, doesn't matter if it's day or night, the hall is always fairly dark, but there is a part that is darker than the rest, the darkness seems to become almost 3D, it isn't just a shadow. It appears to be a darkness/shadow that is separate from the wall, actually floating out from the wall. I don't believe that is an entity itself, it appears to be another doorway between this reality and the spirit world.

I have seen these doorways since I was a teenager. I used to see them outside, up in the trees, the limbs of the trees would not grow into these doorways, they would grow around it, framing it. If I stood under one, looking up through it, the sky looked different, usually brighter or a different shade of blue. I would also feel a pulling sensation. I used to feel fearful that I might be pulled right through, so I wouldn't spend too much time directly under them. I'm less fearful of this now, I figure that if it happens, it happens and it's supposed to. I am not trying to make it happen though. Just to be precise, not every corner is a "doorway", not every corner has this energy (that I have seen). not every tree grows around doorways. I think I'll start looking up in the trees again, it's been a long while since I've seen a doorway within the branches of a tree.

Back to the corner thing, I wonder if the act of building a room, and making the corners has anything to do with this? Is this intention in action? Does the act of making the corners create the energy that makes these things happen? Or is it just a natural occurrence that energy AND dust collect naturally in corners...So many questions... maybe I'll dowse for the answers, I just need to make a good set of questions. I am discovering that having good and precise questions helps to get accurate answers.

Do you, my dear readers, have any experience with this sort of thing? Do you have any theories? I know that this is true. it happens, I just don't have the why's and how's of it.

NDEs

Otherwise known ad Near Death Experiences. Death is usually considered a negative thing by many people, the honest truth is we will all experience it sooner or later. Our minds are programmed to believe that we live forever, no one wants to ponder their mortality. I think our minds are correct, we do live forever, just not in the form we are in now. We fear death because for most of us, it is the unknown. All of those "what ifs" come into play. What if there is no afterlife? What if I stand before God and I'm not good enough? What if I go to Hell? What if things aren't like I was taught to believe? What if it's just black nothingness.

I remember standing my by sister's bedside as she was leaving this world, going on to the next one. I held her face just inches from mine. She could barely respond, she was mostly gone already. I talked to her, I said things like "Don't be afraid, it's OK..." and "I wish I could see what you see now, I know it's beautiful...", I know she was afraid, but I hope my words and getting her to focus on me and what I was saying helped her to pass more peacefully. I only hope someone has the presence of mind to do that for me when my times comes.

How to die. I often hear the statement from other people who say they would prefer going to sleep and never waking up again, as opposed to dying in a more traumatic way. As nice as that sounds, the more I think about it (not that I dwell on dying, I probably think about it as much as anyone else does), the more I think I want to be awake and alert when my times comes. I want to know it is about to happen, of course I'd prefer that it wasn't too painful, painless would be the best, but we don't always get our way in life, or death. It may be paramount to birth, it must be at least uncomfortable (if not painful) to be born, to be forced from the only existence you know, a warm, happy place, into a cold, brightly lit world, the world we embrace during our life, then are reluctant to leave.

Let me tell you about my NDE. I don't know exactly how old I was, I must have been around 6 or 7 years old. We lived in California. We enjoyed going to the beach to swim, but didn't like the waves very much, so my parents would take us to a man-made lagoon. It was protected from the brunt of the wave action, perfect for little kids to swim. It was also protected from sharks or other large marine animals.

I didn't know how to swim, but I was fearless, my little sister (not the one mentioned above) would not go into water deeper than ankle depth. My little brother was even more fearless than I was, he was busy diving into a trashcan looking for goodies, that's where my mother was at the time, trying to pull my brother out of the can. My father was in a rubber raft across the lagoon, I could see him. There were lifeguards there, and a lot of people, adults and children, swimming that day.

I knew not to go into the deep water, but while playing, I saw a potato chip wrapper floating on the water. I began to hit it to see how far it would go each time. I was getting into deeper and deeper water. Once the water was up to my chin, I thought I would hit the wrapper one more time then go back to shallow water. On that last swipe, I stepped off of a ledge, there was nothing solid under my feet. I panicked and began to thrash around. I could see my dad across the lagoon and started yelling for him. Of course with all the commotion of all the other swimmers, and the distance, he never heard me.

As I thrashed around, I caused myself to go into deeper and deeper water. I would come up, choking and gasping for air, then I would go under, this went on for what seemed like an eternity. Finally I went under and I knew I would not come back up again. Right at that moment, a peace came over me. A peace like I had never felt before. I completely relaxed, I was no longer afraid. The water was green, I must have only been a foot or so under the surface. I knew everything would be OK. I cannot describe the calm and peace I felt, it was unearthly. I felt no pain or distress as I floated under the water.

Then I felt a hand, a hand, it was pulling me out of the water, my instincts to live kicked back in and I began to struggle. This hand pulled me out of the water long enough for me to get a breath of air, then pushed me away. I was doing everything I could to try to grab this person, which was why they pushed me away, to turn me around so that they could safely pull me to shore.

As soon as my feet could touch bottom, I looked at the person and it was my mom (this was the second time she had saved me from certain death). The funny thins was, she didn't know it was me either, until that moment, she just saw a child in distress and went into action. We waded past the lady who was only a few feet from me the whole time, she watched me drowning and did nothing, my mother had some nasty words for her. We waded past the life guard, he had also been watching, with hands on the sides of the chair, ready to jump in, the reason he didn't was because most of that day, other children had been playing like they were drowning, he just assumed I belonged to that group of kids.

I suffered no ill effects from nearly drowning, I puked a few times after I got on the beach. We went home and as far as I can remember, I don't think we ever went back to that lagoon again. We stuck to swimming pools.

I can say this, I am not afraid of the water, I think if I had been saved while I was still struggling, before the peaceful part, I probably would have had a fear of the water, but since I was pulled out after the peaceful part, I have no fear of drowning. The part up and until the peaceful part sucks, but after that it is quite pleasant.

I have had a couple of other brushes with death, none as close as this one though, I was trapped in a travel trailer while it was on fire, I was in two different situations where I was at the mercy of a crazy person with a weapon, I nearly hung myself (it was a stupid childhood experiment gone wrong, I wasn't trying to commit suicide), I have had 2 different medical situations where I could have died, I have been in one semi-serious car wreck... I have been close to death many times, but I'm still here to talk about it... I'll talk about them more in detail at a later date.

Ain't It The Truth

I found this on another blog, (thanks Hermit),

“As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.



If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.



Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.



Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.




Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.



Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.



Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.



Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.



For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!”

For the record, I'm 44 and proud of each and every one of those years, wrinkles and gray hairs, I wear them as a badge of honor.


It would seem that this has been attributed to Andy Rooney, but after an unsuccessful search for the video to accompany this text, I find that Andy Rooney didn't actually write this, Snopes link,  it seems that this was taken from here http://www.suddenlysenior.com/praiseolderwomen.html written by Frank Kaiser. No one seems to know why it was attributed to Andy Rooney, including Andy Rooney himself.

Something's Coming

I feel something coming, I don't know what it is, it doesn't feel bad, or good, I know that may be hard to understand, I don't question it too much, I just try to observe. Sometimes I wish that I could get just a tiny bit more info, I just get what I get and usually nothing more. Something is coming, something is about to happen. I'll post more as I know it.

The Night My Mom Came For A Visit

Here is a strange occurrence that happened to me. This happened back in 87 or 88, my (now ex) husband and our almost 2 year old son were living in Oregon with my inlaws. We slept in the converted attic, my hubby and I had the room on one side, our son had the room on the other side. I was very close to my mom and missed her terribly, she was back in Texas. We didn't get to talk very often and I knew it would be a long time before I saw her again. This was the first time I had been this far away from home and my family.

Our bed was a double sized bed, we barely had enough room to sleep on this bed, we were constantly jostling for space. The bed was pushed against one wall, I slept on that side, so often times I was squished against the wall. One night,  I don't believe I had been alseep yet, I was being really pushed into the wall, I was laying on my back, I turned my head toward my hubby, I was about to ask for more room, or just gently push him over, before I could speak, I could see a third person in the bed between us. This was a full grown person, not our son, he was sleeping in a crib and couldn't get out. There was a bright light right outside the window so I could see clearly that there was another person in the bed.

I froze, not knowing exactly what I should do first, then I realized it was my mother! Now anyone who has a perverted mind can just go away right now, or at least thank me for the fantasy fodder. I could feel my mother's body up against mine, shoulder to shoulder, arm to arm, hip to hip, leg to leg. I wondered what I should do. I could clearly see her, feel her, I could also see my hubby on the edge of the bed, on the verge of falling off. I was very comforted by all of this, it reminded me of when I was a child, all of us kids would climb into bed with mom and dad, especially on the weekends, there was no safer or more comfortable place. So that night I was transported back to my childhood, albeit briefly. I was afraid to move, afraid it would all disappear. I stayed awake as long as I could, eventually I fell asleep. The next morning, I was disappointed to realize that she wasn't really there, though I knew in reality that she wouldn't be there. I asked my hubby if he remembered anything about the night before, he said that I was really crowding him.

The other thing I realized the next morning is that my mother was not wearing anything, I felt no clothing, no nightgown or anything. I thought this strange as my mother was always cold, especially at night, as far back as I could remember my mother wore nightgowns to bed, flannel in the winter, and lighter materials in the summer. This was in the middle of winter, so my mother should have been wearing SOMETHING to bed.

I called my mother that day to ask her if she remembered anything about the night before, she didn't, she said she slept just fine, then I asked her about sleeping in the nude, well to my surprise she told me that she had been sleeping in the nude for some time. Talk about a confirmation! I told her about what happened, she wasn't surprised about it at all, though she had no memory of it.

There were many other things that happened in my in-law's house in the time we lived there. This house was over 100 years old, it was in a historic district, which only meant that you had to go before a committee if you wanted to change the color of your house, or do anything that would affect the outside appearance of the house. Anyhoo, one thing that was always in the house was something referred to as a residual, I could see a man standing just outside the landing for the attic stairs, he was about to go up the stairs. He never moved or reacted, I didn't feel anything from him, he was merely a 3D snapshop, this was not a spirit, just a memory. I don't know what caused this residual to happen right there, but it was definitely there. He wore a red and black flannel, long sleeved shirt and either brown or dark tan pants. He has short, dark hair, I wonder if he was a logger. I couldn't see him if I looked directly at him, I had to use my peripheral vision.

Another thing that happened in that house was one weekend, my in-laws had gone out of town for the weekend. My hubby was taking a shower, I was chasing our son through the house, we were having fun. The bathroom door was open, I could hear things hitting the floor in the bathroom, then I heard my hubby yell at our son to stop it and get out. Well our son was with me, not in the bathroom. I went in there to see what he was yelling about, I could see toiletries and shaving stuff on the floor in front of the washer and dryer. My hubby would place a towel on the dryer and place his shaving and other things on top of the towel. It appeared that "someone" had pulled the towel part way off the dryer and some of the things were on the floor, the rest of it was not far behind.

I asked my hubby why was he yelling at our son, he replied that our son had been in there pulling on the towel, I informed him that our son had been with me the whole time, he had not gone into the bathroom, I even heard the stuff hitting the floor, we had been in the kitchen when that happened.

The shower was a walk in shower, with room for 2, the door was a sliding door with translucent glass, my hubby never said that he saw anyone, but SOMEONE pulled that towel, and no the washer and dryer were not running at the time. At first my hubby said that I had put our son up to doing that as a prank, eventually I convinced him that neither of us did it.

I was not happy living there, I missed my family very much, especially my mother. I didn't get along with my mother in law, we just had different opinions about nearly everything, from how to raise my son, what foods to cook, to what books I read from the library. I spent a lot of time upstairs in my room during the day, the only time I felt even semi-comfortable in the house was after everyone went to bed. I would sit up in the den watching TV. One night I felt something warm and furry rub against my feet. I pulled my feet up and looked, I saw nothing. The only light in the room was coming from the TV. This felt like a small cat or kitten. This happened nearly every night after that, I never saw anything, I just felt the furry sensation on my feet. There were no animals in that house, at least not ones that anyone could see. :) This was comforting to me.

That is about everything I can remember, it seems like a lot, but this took place over a 9 month period. I spent the winter and spring in Oregon, and as pretty as Oregon is, and as nice as the people there are, all I wanted to do was go home to Texas. I finally got my wish and I have not left Texas since. :)

A Dream

Had a somewhat disturbing dream this morning, I dreamed I was living where I am right now, but Bob had died, it was a few days after his death and burial. In the dream I was riding my bike from place to place talking to the various people I know out here, not sure why I wasn't driving my bug. Eventually I went home, on the way, it was getting dark, I saw a car coming on the road toward me, I purposely steered my bike to the wrong side of the road, I figured if they hit me, then they hit me. I made it home, the house was empty, I began to cry, I was sad, I was mad at Bob for doing this to me, I wanted to talk to him again so I started calling out to him, I was NOT going to wait years to communicate with him like I did with my Mom.  I know that he didn't believe in after death communication, but I do and by golly, if there was any chance that he was around, he was going to talk to me. Then I woke up.

I don't feel like this is a premonition, I know where this came from, last night I was reading a forum and someone was talking about making an offer on some property, in their next message, they stated that they had become a grandparent, their husband unexpectedly died, and their offer was accepted on the property. When I read it, it seemed rather nonchalant about the husband dying, I would think that would at least rate its own message, and not stuck between a couple of other comments, it came off like "oh well, he's dead now..."

I did receive a message the other day, my mind has been on a few bills that are coming up, so far we have had enough funds to pay the few bills we have, but there are always more coming up, I was "told" not to worry about it, something big is coming and I would be taken care of. I have been told the latter part before, it's always been true so I don't worry too much about it. That little voice has always been accurate, it's not MY voice, I don't know how to properly explain it, it's in my head but it's not me (boy does this sound nuts), I  wonder about this "big thing" coming, I don't know what it is, but I know it will be. I do remember in the dream thinking, I wonder if this (Bob dying) was the "big thing", and if it was, I didn't like it. I'm glad it was just a dream, Bob is getting a few extra hugs today.

Am I In My Head...

...or am I in yours? Before you think this is totally nuts, let me tell you what happens, and this has gone on for most of my life.

Have you ever been thinking about a song, and someone near by starts humming, singing or whistling that same song? So, who had the "thought" about the song first? You or the other person? My question is, did you think about it first and you "broadcast" the song into someone else's mind? Or was that person thinking about the song first and you picked up on it?

This happens to me on a regular basis, maybe not daily, but at least weekly. I will be thinking about something, then the person I am talking to or sitting near by will start talking about the thing I was thinking about, I wonder if I picked up on something they were thinking about, or did they just pick up on what I was thinking?

I have a friend who knows about my ability to do this and is somewhat afraid of it, not really afraid, but I feel like he is concerned that he will not be able to hide anything from me. I understand his concern, our thoughts are one of the most private things we have, how potentially uncomfortable would it be if all of our private thoughts and feelings were no longer private? To any of my friends reading this, if you have to ask "is this me she is talking about?" then it's not you... You know who you are. ;) This relates to a very specific conversation about hugs.

Here are my thoughts, no pun intended, we all float in a sea of our own thoughts, thoughts are nothing more than electrical impulses in our brains, I believe we work like 2 way radios, we send and receive signals/thoughts. Once you meet a person, you tune in to each others' frequencies. As you get to know that person better, you are more able to tune in. Just like anything else, some people are better at doing this (sending and receiving) than other people. I think that married couples, long time work partners, close family members and such have this very close connection and can sense how the other is feeling, can read each other's minds, can finish each other's sentences.

I just have to wonder, when floating in the sea of thoughts in our daily lives, you assume that 100% of those thoughts are yours and yours alone, I wonder how much is actually bleed over from other people? And consequently, how much of our thoughts are bleeding over to other people?

What are your thoughts?

Strength

Trials and tribulations, not fun to go through, we often wonder "why me?", why is this happening? Does the diamond ask why it had to go through the intense pressure when it was still a piece of carbon? Does the gold ask why it had to go though brutal heat to remove the impurities? Does the blade ask why it had to be heated and beaten to be shaped into a wonderful and useful sword?

Strength is not known until it is tested, we often don't think about that. It's all too easy to want to to take the lighter load, to take the easy road. But the only way to become stronger is to take on the challenges of life. The answers to life's tough questions are not always easy to find, often you are looking for one thing only to stumble across something even more valuable.

Sometimes the diamonds crack, sometimes the iron breaks, life is not easy, it is not neat and clean, life can be difficult and messy, but you cannot hide yourself or stop living because you are afraid of what might happen, I don't know if we are given one life to live, or if we have multiple lives to get things right, either way, I will live my life as if I have this one shot, if it turns out that I'll get another chance, then that is a bonus, but one I'll not count on.

The saying is easy, the doing is hard, but ohhhh the rewards for getting it right...

Ultimately I ask myself, do I want to end up as a lump of carbon, relatively soft, crumbly, dirty, or do I want to become a diamond? What about you? It's your choice.

Camera Review

I received this camera a few weeks ago, it is a replacement for the first camera I purchased, actually the first one was a MP4 player, it played MP3 music, videos, it had a still and video camera, but first and foremost it was a media player, it did a mediocre job at taking pictures and videos, so I returned it and ordered a camera, something that actually did the job it was supposed to do.

First I want to say that if you are ordering anything from this company, unless you have mega patience, I highly recommend that you spring for the extra to have it delivered via DHL. I ordered this last week, a day later I received the tracking number, it was still in Hong Kong, by the middle of the night it was in Ohio, the next morning it was in El Paso and the DHL guy was calling me to confirm the directions. I don't know how they did it so fast, but they did!

Here is what I ordered MPEG4 Digital Video Camcorder With Optical Telescope Zoom Lens I had a hard time choosing between this camera with a telescope type zoom lens and another one with a wide angle lens, I decided on the zoom lens because I figured I would be able to make better use out of a zoom lens than the wide angle lens for now, I might order the other camera at a later date though.

I assumed that this camera had no internal memory, the website said nothing about internal memory, just listing the max size and type of external memory, I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered the camera does indeed have internal memory, it's not much, especially for video, it's only 50 megs, but it's enough to get you started, you can take lots of pix on it, but only about 7 minutes of video on the highest (video quality) setting.

When I first connected the camera to my computer, my anti-virus software pegged it as a virus, that concerned me for a minute, then I remembered that you are supposed to format the memory, you do that through the camera interface, it only took a few seconds. When I hooked it back up to my computer, no more false virus alerts. The computer saw it as another storage device. It showed me 2 folders, one is for the video, the other is for MP3s, though I wouldn't recommend storing any MP3 music on the internal memory, with only 50 megs of memory, you will need every bit of that for your pictures and videos, unless you have an external memory card.

As for the external memory card, the website says you can use up to a 4 GB SD memory card, the instructions that come with it said you could use up to a 1 GB card, I will get a 4 GB card, I assume the camera firmware has been updated since the instruction sheet was printed. I have also learned that there are different types of SD memory cards, unfortunately this camera cannot use SDHC, you have to get a standard SD card, if I find out that I can use the high speed card in this camera, I'll let you know.

I purchased a 2 pack of 2 GB SD memory cards, that was the biggest card I could get without it being SDHC. I am still pleased with it, it holds thousands of pictures and hours of video on one 2 GB card.

This camera fits in my hand perfectly, it has a 3 inch flip out screen that can rotate so you can see yourself if you are pointing the camera toward yourself. The buttons on the camera take a bit of getting used to, I suppose with time, I'll be more comfortable with where the buttons are and what each one does. I really like this camera, it takes stills and videos, you have the option to record sound (or not) with your videos, you can also use this as a voice recorder if you want, I haven't tried this but it is available. You can play back your videos, view your pictures and listen to your sound recordings as well as listen to MP3 audio, it has a built in speaker, though it is tiny and is not meant for major use, I'd say if you want to listen to your MP3 audios, use your MP3 player and use your camera to take pictures and videos.

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Drawbacks
The digital zoom (I'm not talking about the zoom lens), the image quality with the digital zoom, especially if you zoom in as far as you can is pretty bad, it's very grainy.

You can't use the digital zoom feature when you are actively recording a video.

When snapping a picture, there is a delay of a second or so from the time you push the button and when it actually takes the picture, I understand this is an issue with most (possibly all) digital cameras. It's an annoyance when trying to photograph animals, they often don't sit still while the camera takes its time snapping a picture.

The camera does come with a small protective pouch, it's too small to call a camera bag, my complaint about that is there is no room for the zoom lens. If you already have a camera bag, then that issue is solved.
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The specs are:

• Primary Functions: Digital Video and Still Camera with Telescope Zoom Lens
• Screen: 3.0 inch flipout TFT LCD
• Storage:
  - External Memory = up to 4GB with standard SD Card
  - Internal Memory = 50 mb
  
• Max. Resolution: 12 Megapixel (interpolation)
• Image Sensor: 5 Megapixel CMOS
• Color: Silver
• PC interface: USB 2.0
• Built-in Microphone: YES
• Built-in Speaker: YES
• Certification: CE, FCC
• Operating Systems: Windows 2000 / Me / XP / Vista
• Languages: English, Japanese, German, French, Spanish, Italian, Russian, Chinese
• Dimensions: 116mm x 55mm x 60mm (L x W x H)
• Power supply: 1000mAh rechargeable li-ion battery
• Battery Type: NP-60 style (easily to find Nokia type)
• Catalog Ref: Digital Video Camcorder, Ultra-Portable camcorder, Still and Video digital camera

Multimedia:

• Image Capture:
  - Lens: Wide - F/3.0, f=7.45mm
  - Imaging sensor: 1/2.5" CMOS 5 Mega Pixel
  Focus range: Normal: 1m ~ Infinity, Macro: 25cm ~ 50cm
  - Shutter: 1/4~1/2000 Sec
  - Zoom: 4x Digital Zoom
  - Exposure: EV in 0.5 steps (+2 to -2)
  - TV OUT Format: NTSC / PAL
  - Banding: 50Hz / 60Hz
• Camera
  - Capture Format: JPEG
  - Resolution: 3648x2736, 2592x1944, 2048x1536, 1600x1200, 1280x960, 640x480
  - Image Quality (compression): Super, Fine, Normal
  - Strobe Flash: OFF / ON / Auto / Red Eye Reduction
  - Capture Modes: Single shot / Continuous / 10 sec / 20 sec
  - Daystamp Option: YES
  - Additional settings: Scene modes, White balance, Color effects, Quick View
• Video Camera
  - Capture Format: MPEG4 (AVI)
  - Resolution: 640x480, 320x240
  - Frame Rate: 30 FPS / 15 FPS
  - Audio: YES - ON / OFF
  - Additional settings: White balance
• Audio Recorder: YES
• Recording Format: WAV
• Audio Player: YES
• Player Formats: MP3, WAV
• Picture Viewer: YES
• Viewer Format: JPG

Camera Controls:

• Primary Buttons/IO Slots:
  - ON/OFF button
  - MIC
  - Flash OPEN/CLOSE
  - Standard/Macro switch
  - Menu
  - Mode
  - Zoom IN
  - Zoom OUT
  - OK
  - Record/Capture
  - SD card slot
  - Headphone jack
  - Mini-USB (TV OUT)
  - 4 buttons for navigation

• For best performance from your SD card you should format the card for the cameras interface. This assures the best compatibility and speed .
• Built-in standard tripod screw base
• LCD viewer has both flip-out and 360 degree rotation
• TV-OUT allowing you to view your recorded movies directly from your camcorder to your TV set
• True built-in flash - a rarity in budget DV camcorders!
• PC Camera function

Package Contents

• Model CVSE-DV01 Digital Video Camcorder
• Telescope zoom lens
• Mini-USB to USB cable
• Power adapter (100-240V 50/60Hz)
• User manual - English
• CD driver disc (for older systems)
• Stereo earphones
• AV OUT cable
• Padded carrying case
• Remote control
• Li-ion rechargeable battery (1000mAh)

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I added YouTube sound just because I didn't want to talk, it does capture sound pretty well.
This video is the lowest quality setting,
320x240
15 fps





This is the next best quality
640x480
15 fps


This is the next best quality
320x240
30 fps


This is the highest quality
640x480
30 fps





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I am very happy with this camera, it does not have all the bells and whistles that some other cameras might have, but it doesn't come with the mega price tag that the other brand name cameras come with. For the price, it's a great camera, stills and video. I give it a thumbs up!

Get the high def version of this camera here 1080P HD Video Camera - High-Res Video Camcorder (Up To 60FPS)

A Day In The Life

Since I've seen spirits and other such activity all of my life, I tend to forget that most people don't see these sorts of things, at least not on a daily basis, many of you must wonder what it's like, is my daily life like The Amityville Horror or like the movie Poltergeist? Hardly. Though there were a few "interesting" occurrences during my early teen and pre-teen years, it was nothing like you see in the movies.

Well, let me give you a theoretical day in my life.

I wake up, I go to the bathroom, I wash up for the day, I get dressed, I take my dog out for a walk, I see a bird in a tree, I go to water the garden, I see a bird fly by, I walk back to my house, I fix breakfast, we eat. I do some computer work, I see a bird out the window in the bird bath. Now it's time for lunch, so I fix lunch and we eat. I take the leftovers outside to feed the wild animals, a few birds sit in a tree, watching me place the food on the ground. I do the dishes, work on a few more chores around the house. I do more computer work. Now it's time for dinner, I look around to see what I can fix, the phone rings, it's my Dad, I talk to him while I fix dinner, I hear a sound outside and look just in time to see a hummingbird leaving the feeder. We eat dinner, I do the dishes, do a few more chores, do more computer work then it's time for bed.

Seems pretty ordinary wouldn't you say? Did you notice the theme here? Yes, the birds, now if you replace the birds with spirits, then you would have a typical day for me. Perhaps not that often in fact, usually once or twice a day. The reason I used birds as an example is birds, for most people are an everyday fact of life, you go outside, or look outside and you will probably see a bird, though most of you wouldn't notice the birds, they are so ordinary and such a common occurrence, the fact is eventually you would (probably) notice if you didn't see birds after a while, how long do you think it would take? I remember right after 9-11, when all of the airports were shut down, we lived near DFW airport, and seeing airplanes in the sky was completely normal, but I will tell you that it was eerie when days and weeks went by with no aircraft of any sort in the sky, the lack of them was noticeable even though we didn't really pay attention to them otherwise.

Now, I'll repeat my theoretical day with the spirit activity.

I wake up, I go to the bathroom, I wash up for the day, I get dressed, I take my dog out for a walk, I see a shadow dart near my feet, I go to water the garden, I see a spark of light float by, I walk back to my house, I fix breakfast, we eat. I do some computer work, I see a blur of a person walk past the door. Now it's time for lunch, so I fix lunch and we eat. I take the leftovers outside to feed the wild animals, on the way back in, I see someone looking through the window, watching me place the food on the ground. I do the dishes, work on a few more chores around the house. I do more computer work. Now it's time for dinner, I look around to see what I can fix, the phone rings, it's my Dad, I talk to him while I fix dinner, I hear a sound outside and look just in time to see something amorphous streak by. We eat dinner, I do the dishes, do a few more chores, do more computer work then it's time for bed.

As I said, that sort of day would be a lot of activity, I usually see one or two things a day, some days more, some days less, most of the time I don't try to investigate it, I see it, and I go on with my day, it doesn't scare me, sometimes I am startled, the same way you would be if someone jumped out and said "boo".

That's just about it, if you have any questions, please ask, I love talking about this. :)

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the great dads, pops, and fathers out there! :)

Phantom Dog

A strange occurrence happened tonight, it is about 12:30 am, I am sitting at my computer, all the lights are off, the only light is coming from my computer screen. My little dog is growling at something outside and she will not stop, so I decided to get up and see what the problem is. As I get up, I have a flashlight in my hand, I am getting up and going around my chair, the flashlight is pointing at the ground, I see my dog running past me and going under the chair. I continue walking to the front door, just a few steps away, and I see my dog laying in the middle of my bed. I walk back to the chair and shine the flashlight under the chair, there is nothing there. There is no way that she got past me to get to the bed, there is only one way for her to get on the bed and I was right next to that spot. She is a long haired chihuahua, black with white spots, I SAW her going past me and going under the chair, I even altered my step so that I wouldn't step on her.

I have seen this phantom dog before, but not here, I saw this dog where we used to live, I would see what I thought was my dog walking down the hall, then immediately see the real dog on the other side of the room laying on the couch asleep. On a couple of occasions I had seen them at the same time, when my dog was laying on the couch asleep, I would see the phantom dog walking in front of the couch. This phantom dog looks just like my dog, same shape, same size, same coloring.

I'm not sure what to think about this, it doesn't scare me or bother me, I just hope it doesn't start happening to my hubby, he doesn't understand. I don't know how to help him understand, he considers all of this in the realm of the demonic, to me it's just something that has happened to me all of my life, from childhood.

I suppose I will start seeing this dog around here now, maybe if hubby sees this phantom animal he will think he is seeing our dog.

Brain Game

rHere's something fun. I saw this video on YouTube, it shows you whether you are left or right brained. Play the video and see which direction the girl is turning.




It is said that if you see the dancer turning clockwise (to the right) then you are right brained, creative, intuitive, non-linear, abstract thinker, if you see her turning counterclockwise (to the left) then you are left brained, analytical, number oriented, linear, detail oriented thinker.

Some see her going in one direction and cannot change it no matte what, some can "train" their brain to make it change, some can make it change back and forth at will, sort of the ambidextrous thinkers of the world.

I see her going clockwise, to the right, and I have not been able to make her spin in the other direction.

I do tend to be creative, non-linear and abstract in my thinking, math has generally been a mystery to me (don't ask me to measure anything!). I'm OK with that, I enjoy my mind. :)

What do you see? Leave me a comment and let me know, also tell me if you believe you are left or right brained, are you creative or analytical? Are you able to make her switch directions?

More Mobile Home Spookies

A couple of days ago, I was cleaning a home that is behind the store where I work weekends. I have cleaned this place before, it is a rental that my boss owns. I have had experiences in this place before (click here) This time when I went there, it felt much better, a lot better than the first time I went there. Sound carries in a strange way there, I can hear things like cars driving by, much clearer than I think I should, I don't know if it's just the way the house is situated, it's pretty far from the road, and on more than one occassion I went to a window or the front door to see if someone was driving up, it turned out to be cars on the road, no where near the house.

This time when I was cleaning, I had the front door open, I had already cleaned the front room, swept and mopped the floor, I was working on the kitchen. I walked back into the front room and on the floor, in front of the door, there was a piece of wood, this had been broken off a larger piece, possibly part of the deck or trim around the door, this piece of wood shouldn't have been there, I had just cleaned that part of the house and I would not have missed a piece of wood this large. It was 3 inches long, and maybe 1/4 inch thick, it was laying on the floor, just inside the door. I went outside to see if there was someone around, no one was anywhere near the house. I swept the wood outside and asked for whatever did it to do it again. It didn't happen again, but that was strange. It didn't scare me, it just made me realize that there is still something there.

Intent

Intent, what exactly does that mean? Here is what Dictionary.com said

in⋅tent
1  /ɪnˈtɛnt/ [in-tent]
–noun
1. something that is intended; purpose; design; intention: The original intent of the committee was to raise funds.
2. the act or fact of intending, as to do something: criminal intent.
3. Law. the state of a person's mind that directs his or her actions toward a specific object.
4. meaning or significance.

in⋅tent
2  /ɪnˈtɛnt/ [in-tent]
–adjective
1. firmly or steadfastly fixed or directed, as the eyes or mind: an intent gaze.
2. having the attention sharply focused or fixed on something: intent on one's job.
3. determined or resolved; having the mind or will fixed on some goal: intent on revenge.
4. earnest; intense: an intent person.

So what does that have to do with anything? I am here to tell you it has to do with everything! Believe it or not, your thoughts have control over what your life is like, more than you realize. It is even thought (no pun intended) that our thoughts create our reality. I don't know if I believe that completely, but I do believe that our thoughts and intentions do create or affect much of our reality. How often have you been in a situation where you had a negative thought, "I'm not going to get that raise / That bird will probably poop on my newly washed car / I'll probably trip going up those stairs...", well without realizing it you are creating that reality, and chances are those things will happen just as you "predicted".

Now think of a time when you were doing something, like playing a sport or a video game, and you were "in the zone", you were perfect, you were on your game... you didn't "think" about it, you just did it. So what was the difference? Well, it's really no difference, it was intent all along, when you were thinking negative thoughts, or when you were thinking positive thoughts, they came true, yes, it is that simple.

So why doesn't it seem to work all the time? If you "wish" for a million dollars, to win the lottery, or something like that, and it doesn't work, I don't have an answer, but it works often enough, why not use it to your benefit? I can say that I personally believe we all have lessons to learn while living our lives, and I believe that some things that you want to happen would get in the way of something else you are supposed to be doing. I have a real life example, a number of years ago, my mother was killed in a car accident, she was a security guard for a big name company, they worked her far FAR too many hours, she was coming off shift, going back to the office, according to the witnesses, she apparently fell asleep at the wheel, she rolled out into an intersection and was hit by a taxi, she died shortly after that. After I investigated what had happened, I talked to a lawyer and the lawyer said that the company was at fault, working her so many hours, we had a case. So we sued, we fought this for several years, bantering back and forth, we were pretty sure that the company would eventually make an offer, we assumed it would be a large offer. Eventually my lawyer contacted an "expert" in the field of sleep deprivation and driving, he told us that based on what he could see, even though the company was in the wrong, there was no precedents for this and chances would be a judge would not award us anything. So I was given the choice to continue or quit, my lawyer clearly didn't want to continue, he had spent many years and lots of money out of his own pocket, (it cost me nothing), so I figured if he was willing to give up, we didn't have a chance so after discussing it with my sister, we decided to give up.

On the surface that sounds like a negative thing, my mother was dead, the company that was responsible got off with only a slight inconvenience, and we received no compensation. Now that I look back on all of this, as hard as it was, it turned out to be a positive thing not to win any money from this. Had I won the money, I was planning on buying a house, this was just before the housing crash, I would have been saddled with a house in a neighborhood that I wouldn't have wanted to spend the rest of my life in, I probably would not have been able to sell the house for any amount of money, and I would not have been in a position to buy the property where I live now. I am living the life I have always dreamed about, that probably wouldn't have happened if I had won that money.

Sometimes the things you think you want are not the things you need, plain and simple, and because we don't see the big picture, we can be our biggest stumbling block. Now comes intent, you have to find that place where you are "in the zone", it's not as hard as you might think, one of the ways I do it is by focusing on a specific thing, in my case, it's usually my hands, generally all I have to do is think about my hands and in a few seconds I begin to feel a tingling sensation in my palms. It doesn't matter where my hands are, if they are together or not, I still feel that sensation, I usually put my hands together in front of me, palms facing, hands cupped, but not touching. I imagine I am creating an energy ball that is floating between my hands. Another thing I do is I look "through" my hands, I see the space between my hands but do not focus directly on this, I look beyond my hands so that my hands go out of focus, then I "look" at my hands while they are still out of focus. I know this may sound strange, and even complicated, this is just how I do it, it's not necessarily how you will do it, this has evolved from simply trying to see the energy lines or webs coming from my hands into this set of steps I do.

Anyhoo, I will pray my intent into that energy forming in my hands and send it out to work. I was concerned about my son a few nights ago, he is in the Army and is stationed in Iraq. I simply placed my hands together without touching, the tingling sensation began immediately, I prayed my intent into that energy and sent it to my son. Now before we go any further, I must state that I am a Christian, and everything I do in this realm is in the name of Jesus, I am using the gifts given to me by God, I do not call on any other force, I believe all of this ultimately comes from God, I am merely tapping into this higher power. Now I can see two groups of people, those who do not believe in God or religion, this would be offensive to them, and those who are Church going Christians who would also be offended by my beliefs and think I am going to Hell for dabbling in witchcraft. All I can say is, I'm glad I don't have their limitations, I do believe that all things were created by God, therefore my gifts are also from God, the spiritual energies are also of God, or at the very least, a neutral force that can be tapped into and used either for beneficial or detrimental purposes, no different from any other gift or ability, some people play music, some people are artists, some people can see spirits and tap into the energies that surround each and every one of us.

As for the Christians who would condemn my actions and beliefs as demonic, I can only point you to the Bible, the parts that aren't usually read in Church, the parts that teach us how to test the spirits to see if they are of or from God, I don't know what else to tell you except don't judge me lest you be judged yourselves, those without sin get to throw the first stone and such... (sorry, I couldn't bring myself to say "ye" in the lest ye be judged line, I don't believe that throwing "old English" around or going "King James" makes my words any more Godly).

I digress, so back to the subject, intent, that is what prayer is, only we usually do it wrong, or should I say, there is a better way, a more effective way to do it, instead of whining and begging for what you want, try stating what you want to be true, thanking God for it and leaving it alone to happen. Say you are not happy with your appearance, you would like to lose a few pounds, you might be thinking or saying:

Why am I so fat?
I wish I wasn't so fat.
I wish I was thinner.
I wish I could look like _______.
Why can't I look like ________.
Why can't I be thinner?
I'm so ugly. fat.
I'll never be ________.

Now, when you say these things, even in your mind, you are stating your intent, if your intent is negative, or detrimental, then that is exactly what you will achieve. Now let's turn those statements around and make them positive or beneficial:

I am thinner
I am thin
I am healthy
I am happy with my appearance
I am happy with myself

or how about, "I thank you God for this body, bless it and balance it for health and happiness, in the name of Jesus, I pray, Amen." BTW, "amen" simply means, I believe, I agree, or so be it.

I could go on, I think you get the picture, you need to state, in the positive, in the now, how you want things to be, as you re-format your mind to think in the now and in the positive, your body and health will catch up with what you are stating. You can do this for anything. You are planting the seeds of tomorrow, just like any gardener, that gardener wouldn't go out into the garden and expect to see plants growing there unless he/she had planted some seeds, once you plant those seeds, you know that plants will grow, sometimes weeds (detrimental thoughts) will try to grow, you have to remove those weeds, do it while they are small and easy to pull out, if you allow those weeds to grow, it will crowd out the beneficial plants you want to grow and it will be harder to remove without damaging the beneficial plants.

Intent, grow some beneficial intent today!

One of my favorite mantras I made up when I worked for Curves goes like this:

I am happy
I am healthy
I have everything I need

I am happy
I am healthy
I have everything I want

I would say this 10 times in a row at least once a day, out loud, eventually your beneficial intent will overcome the detrimental intent, good things will happen, give it a try, what do you have to lose?

Review

About a week ago, I received the all in one, MP4/camera I had been drooling over. I was so excited to get it, this seemed to be perfect, it was literally an all in one unit, it is first and foremost a MP3 player and video player with a touchscreen. The video player is good, but that's just about all it does good, I suppose I got greedy and expected this to do everything very well. Oh, it does record audio (digital voice recorder) pretty well too. I don't like the interface, it is not intuitive at all, it took me almost a week to figure out all the things it does and how to get around the menus. This is the first touchscreen anything I have ever owned, so I didn't have a bias from using another touchscreen item in the past.

I also do not like the MP3 player part, the sound is good, but if you are listening to something, then turn it off, it does not remember where you left off. For music that is OK, but that is not OK when you listen to audio books and other voice recordings. I own another MP3 player, a mid-grade unit I got when I worked for Best Buy. This one remembers where I stop if I stop mid-audio, I mostly listen to audio books and recorded (downloaded) radio broadcasts, so if I stop in the middle of the show, especially if the show is long, I want it to remember where I stopped and pick up where it left off, it is most annoying to have to hold down the fast forward button for long periods of time...

The real reason why I got this was for the camera, stills and video. The camera part has multiple settings, that is good, but it doesn't remember your settings when you exit the camera function or turn it off, so you have to reset it each time you use it, a minor annoyance, but just one in a multitude of things that are not right about this.

Now to the worst part, the video, I expected much better, the video it recorded was jittery, jumpy, barely 5 FPS, it did do good about going from bright sunlight into shadow, but the video quality overall is poor. I did a 12 minute video the other day, the sound was severely out of sync from the video, at best it was 15 seconds behind the video, as the video progressed, it got even worse. That was the final straw for me. I contacted the company and told them I wanted to return this unit for credit toward another item. This time I am getting a CAMERA (video and stills), I will get something that does the one thing, not so many things that it can't do many of them well. I also asked for a credit for my shipping costs as it was their mistake on the webpage that made me pick this unit, their claim of 30 FPS, I had even emailed them before I purchased to confirm that was correct, they had emailed me back to say that their description was accurate. I would not have chosen this particular unit had I known the video was so poor. They agreed to credit the shipping costs, so I am happy with their decision about that.

I will be shipping it back next week, hopefully it will not take forever for it to get back to the company, I will wait until I get confirmation of my credit before I go ahead and order the other camera.

My rating on this unit, on a scale of 1-10, 1 being worst, 10 being best:

MP3 player 5
Video player 9 (surprisingly good)
Sound quality
with earbuds 8
internal speaker 4 (not loud enough, tinny sounding)
camera
stills 4
video 2
voice recorder 7 (did surprisingly well)
touchscreen 4
interface/menu 2 (not intuitive at all)
internal memory 9
FM radio 7
battery 5 (seemed to run down quickly)
earbuds 7 (the supplied earbuds were pretty good)

overall 5.6

I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised, for the price (very inexpensive), and the fact that it had so many features, there was no way it could do any of them very well, I was just hoping it would take good pictures and videos. To be fair, it is first and foremost a MP4 player, (music and video player), the camera was secondary. If you want something inexpensive to watch videos on, movies and such, this is great, it does play MP3 music ok, the interface and menu are less than stellar, as a voice recorder, it does pretty well, the camera (video and stills) are not up to par at all. The other thing this does is it displays text files (they say eb00k, but in reality it has to be in .txt format), well, it did do that, I was able to put in a list of phone numbers and other notes, that is good, but you can't edit them, they are read only.

I'll post my review of the camera I pick out when I receive it and have a chance to play with it. I hope to have better luck with it.

Dreaming About Hair

About a month and a half ago, I began to have this reoccurring dream, well the dreams were all different, but the theme was the same. I would "come to" and be standing in a hair salon, behind the chair, with a customer in my chair and I was supposed to be doing this person's hair. I used to be a hairdresser, I did it for 11 years, but it's been that longer than that since I have done hair, at least professionally. When I stopped doing hair, I pretty much stopped for good, I let my license lapse, and I rarely do anyone's hair.

So each time I would dream about doing hair, I would be in a different salon, working on someone different, but my thoughts were pretty much the same, WHAT AM I DOING HERE???!!! I knew in the dream that I wasn't supposed to be there, I knew it had been YEARS since I've done hair. I would wonder how I got there, what I was supposed to be doing to this person in my chair, but my professionalism was still there, I couldn't allow this person to see how scared I was, I was there and this person expected to get their hair done, the last thing I wanted to do was worry them. The first dream was the worst, I woke up in a fright, glad that it was just a dream.

I began having these dreams several times a week. This went on for over a month, each time I was in a different salon, working on a different person, it was never anyone I knew, it was never in a salon I had worked in before. I knew that I could do the basics, but what if that person wanted me to do something more trendy? How would I know how to do something different than I was formerly trained how to do?

After a few weeks of having these dreams, I knew I was supposed to be "getting" something, I just didn't know what. I am not going to be doing hair, oh I cut Bob's hair, more like buzz it off with the clippers, and I have done a haircut on a friend's son, and a haircut on another friend, but other than that, I have not really done hair in years and have no plans on getting back into the biz.

One of the dreams I was working on an older lady, that was the one that scared me the most, I knew I wasn't supposed to be there, yet there I was. In another dream, I was working on a little boy of about 5, he was very hyper (I never liked working on young children, they moved and wiggled, it was difficult to to do a good haircut on them, yet their parents wanted to pay LESS for the haircut, the salon where I worked charged the same for kids as adults, I always HOPED they would leave instead of staying!), so I was cutting this little hyper boy's hair, his mom had a harness and leash on him to keep him from running off. Then she left to go shopping, I finished his haircut, went to the back for a minute, when I came out, the boy was gone! Fortunately I found him quickly and his mom was happy with his hair. In the last dream I had, an older man came in, he wanted a perm. He was completely bald on top, the hair he did have was already curly, and it was rather short. In the dream I didn't know what he wanted, usually at that point you have already had the consultation and know what you are supposed to be doing, I didn't want him to know that I had no clue what he wanted, so I made a snap decision on which perm rods to use based on the length of his hair, I grabbed the perm rods and began rolling. I realized that I would have to roll his hair in a different pattern than I was used to because of his bald head. I woke up after that.

I had realized that in each dream, I got a little more confident, less scared about what was going on, I would just start doing what I was supposed to do, "fake it 'till you make it", that was what we were taught in beauty school. Then it hit me. In the dreams, I was doing something that I hadn't done in a long time, something that I would be very rusty at doing but I knew that it would all come back to me. Sure I would have to re-learn a lot of things that I had forgotten, and I would have to learn some new things, but it would be OK.

This wasn't about doing hair, this is about the decision I made a couple of months ago. Several years ago I had put my spiritual interests "on hold", I didn't cut it off altogether, I just stopped pursuing it. A few months ago, I have had a renewed interested in developing my spiritual interests. I wasn't sure where to start, and I was somewhat concerned about being able to do those things again, would it all come back to me? Well my dreams were telling me not to worry, even though I hadn't done it in a long time, it would all come back to me, I would have to re-learn some things, I would learn new things, some of it would just naturally come back to me, but above all, don't worry about it. It's been over a week and no more dreams about hair, so I feel confident that I finally got the correct message.

I'll post more about what is going on my current life in the next few days. Things are going good and I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. :)

Mobile Home Spookies And An Update

Today, well technically yesterday now, I was asked to clean a mobile home that had just became vacant, it needed to be cleaned before the next tenants arrive. So I worked on getting the place detailed. I went in to a nearly empty place, fairly clean, it just needed some major detailing.

In pretty short order, I began to "feel" the place, normally I have to be in a place a few times before I start feeling anything in it. Not in this case, I began to feel things right away. I didn't actually see or hear anything, but I could sure feel something, or multiple somethings there. The only way I can explain it is it felt disconcerting, almost nightmarishly so. I would not want to spend the night in this place, sleeping would be impossible. Imagine being thrown into a place with lots of people moving around erratically and bumping into you, not like they are doing it on purpose, but it's still happening, that's how it felt there.

I know the person who did live there, this person seemed normal at first, but then started acting odd, this person it turned out was bi-polar, and not on medication. Things got real bad for this person, this person thought they could see demons, started thinking their friends were demons, let's just say it got real dicey for everyone involved, worse things happened but it's not necessary to give a laundry list of everything.

When I went in to clean, I wasn't thinking about any of this, I was concentrating on doing my job, and even after I started feeling the weird feelings there, I still didn't think about this person until later. I wonder if this is a residual of the energy from this person, or if it what may have caused this person to go off the deep end. I realize that the bi-polar condition was already present, so it's hard to say which came first. I wished I could have gone in there before this person lived there, I am curious about how that place felt before this person was around.

The more I think about it, the more I lean toward the energy being residual, I didn't feel anything intelligent, it just felt disconcerting, I imagine that is how this person felt inside. I will be cleaning this place again after the next people leave in about a week, maybe I can try to do something to clear the negative energy. BTW, that person is getting the help they need, I wish them well.

UPDATE
I spoke with my sister on the phone the other day, she had read my description of the dark, rolling cloud like thing in my neighbor's hall. She suggested that it may be something that she sees in her house. What she sees as a doorway or portal, it gets bigger and smaller, when it gets too big for her comfort level, she asks her husband to shrink it down, and he does. I don't know if this is what is in my neighbor's house, but it certainly is a possibility. I have seen portals or doorways before, that's not how they have appeared to me in the past, that doesn't mean it's not a doorway or portal though, I will keep my mind open about this.

Neighbor's House - Update

Things have been very quiet at my neighbor's house, in the last couple of weeks the entity in the hall (the one where I can see the top of the head walking back and forth) has been not present, the little dog Angel still shows herself on occasion, and the dark rolling shadow in the hall is still present.

There have been a few changes in that house, my neighbor had an accident at work and severely (chemically) burned his eyes, in the midst of all of this, a lady that he worked with started taking care of him while he convalesced. This is a lady that he had been interested in but couldn't get up enough nerve to ask her out. I have always believed that things happen for a reason, even if that reason isn't apparent, I believe this accident, as terrible as it was, was instrumental in bringing these two together, they didn't have to go through the akward first few dates, they completely bypassed all of that.

I talked to my neighbor last night to find out if he had detected any "activity" in the house, he said it had been quiet, I told him that I had been experiencing the same quietness. I suggested that it may be a case of his late wife (if that was the one in the hallway that I see walking around) might have hung around with the intention of watching over him, and now, that isn't needed, he has someone there to take care of him, perhaps it was her time to move on, my neighbor agreed and we all considered it a good thing.

I'll still be looking for the other entities that I know are there, but I suspect that I will not be seeing the one in the hallway, I'll keep you updated. :)

ps
My neighbor's eyes are healing up nicely, one word of advice, if you are unclogging a drain using a chemical drain cleaner, be sure to put the lid back on as soon as you use it, NEVER set it down on sink or tub with the lid off, if you accidentally knock it over, you will be sorry!

Assumptions Can Be Wrong...

You should never judge a book by its cover, or so they say. In the last month, I have been surprised to find out that 2 people I have talked to believed in the paranormal, these two people seemed, on the outside at least, to be very no-nonsense types, non-believers.

One of these two people, I found out pretty quickly that he believed in the paranormal, he is a very nice man I met while at the country store, he is a Native American, he used to also be in law enforcement. I would have thought that being part of law enforcement would have made him the type that if he couldn't touch it, that it didn't exist, I have to admit that the few police officers I have known have been that way, but this man stayed true to his heritage and ancestors. I have only been able to speak to him twice now, he owns property close to where I live and frequents the country store when he comes into town, I look forward to speaking with him again.

The other person is someone I met, also at the country store, he has recently become a property owner nearby. I have had many, fairly long chats with him at the country store, he has been around this area for many years, but I only met him last summer. He comes into the country store and hangs around on the porch (a major past time around here), as I said, we have had long, and sometimes deep conversations, but never touched on the paranormal, until very recently.

It turns out that he lost his girlfriend, in a very permanent way, as you can imagine he is very sad about the whole thing, we chatted a bit about this, I suggested that she isn't as far away as he might think, what else do you say to a grieving man? Now this man is as down to earth and pragmatic as they come, I would have never thought of him as someone who knew anything about the paranormal, boy did I peg this one wrong! It didn't matter what I said, he knew something about it, we discussed Carlos Castaneda, Zecharia Sitchin, aliens, spirits, ghosts, you name it and we talked about it, the more we talked, the more surprised I was that he had any knowledge about this much less believed in it.

So, this was my lesson, don't assume anything, some people just keep their beliefs more private than others. I don't discuss my beliefs with everyone either, I wonder how many people would be surprised to learn what I believe and experience? I wonder how many people's beliefs and experiences I am missing out on because I do tend to keep my beliefs and experiences to myself?