Friday, January 17, 2014

Paradigm shift....

For those who have followed this blog, I think I've made myself pretty clear on where I stand on the things I have seen and experienced all of my life, I have grown comfortable with it as something that just "is". Well, a few days ago, I listened to a Coast to Coast am show that has sent me down new path, one that is going to be a paradigm shift for me.

The show which aired on October, was called Aliens & Abductions,  the guest was Derrel Sims, he is better known as the Alien Hunter. As I listened to this show, more and more things began resonating with me, things I didn't necessarily want to have resonate.

I don't know if I'm ready to explain everything now, I don't know if I even can, not now, not yet, BUT the floodgates have been opened and I don't think I can pretend this isn't happening.

This is one example of what is bubbling up in my mind, I didn't "forget" about this, in fact I have very vivid memories about it, but didn't understand why it happened the way it did, now I believe I understand what happened (or at least part of it) and it makes perfect sense.

I was a young child, I was in bed with my mom, the room was dark except for a street light outside of the window, I could see a silhouette of a man on the window shade, it was not a trick of light and shadow, it WAS the perfect shape and size to be a man standing outside of the window, I woke my mother up, I was terrified, she looked at it and groggily told me to go back to sleep, I asked her if she could see it and she said she could, but that it was just a trick of the light and to go back to sleep, she turned over and fell back asleep, I could NOT understand what was going on, she could see this yet didn't get up to investigate, this was NOT like my mother, even if she had believed this was a trick of the light, she normally would have gotten up and looked out the window, if nothing else but to show me that everything was OK. There is a lot more to this story, I'm leaving out many details, I'm not ready to go into it yet, I have to get this straight in my head first, this is exciting, this is scary too, but this can of worms has been opened and I can't un-open it. I also believe I am about to learn about the things that have happened to me all of my life, maybe not all of the answers, but I am understanding some things.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

The Dream

Dreams, they are funny things, and in most cases, they have the most meaning to the dreamer and to no one else.

I awoke this morning in the midst of a dream that was a delight (in the dream), though if it happened in reality I wouldn't be so excited about it, I'd deal with it and live with it, but it wouldn't be ideal.

I dreamed I was pregnant, in a nutshell, dreaming about being pregnant usually represents a major change is coming, when I awoke I was deciphering the dream and realized that going by the time hints I know that the "change" that was being more than hinted at was about how our lives were going to change and was about the time just before we moved off grid and didn't refer to now. (*)

Here is the dream.

I was at my dad's house, he was still alive, my sister and her best friend had arrived at the house, I had just found out I was pregnant, very pregnant, to the point where I was going to soon go into labor. I was in bed and had just awoke when my sister and her friend arrived, it was so early in the morning that it was still dark. I was debating having my child at home but realized that at my age it would be near impossible to find a midwife that would agree, and it was clear that I hadn't had any medical care during my pregnancy (apparently I didn't know I was pregnant, I thought I was going through the beginning stages of menopause and that was why I wasn't having regular periods, that is something that is going on now in my life and wasn't happening back then...). I was resigning myself to having this baby in a hospital.

After I got out of bed, I noticed my dad was on the phone and seemed to be irritated with whoever he was talking to, it turned out to be a financial organization, I had some money in this financial company and was trying to get it cashed out, my dad was talking as if they had the wrong number and was trying to hang up on them. I was trying to get to him to get the phone out of his hands before he hung up, he managed to get the phone nearly on the hook before I got my hands on it, fortunately he hadn't disconnected the call yet.

As I spoke on the phone, I found out that the stocks that I wanted to cash out were at an all time high and it was a good time to cash out. While doing the transaction, I began telling the lady on the phone about my pregnancy, how excited I was, I told her that I only had one son, that I had made the decision that if I hadn't had another child by the time he started kindergarten that I wouldn't have another child, I didn't want to have children with a huge age gap, so I didn't have another child after my son.

I was watching my son running around the back yard while having this conversation, he was 17 going on 18 in the dream, (that was a time frame hint for me to let me know it wasn't the present). I was running the numbers through my head to figure out the age difference between the two of them.

By this time, I had wandered out into the back yard, still talking to this lady on the phone. The sky was dark, but I could see an aircraft of sorts in the sky (**), it was coming out of the east heading west, it seemed to be a blimp of sorts, but militarized, able to move faster and maneuver easily, it was also armored and quiet, there was a large one and a smaller one attached to it, next to it, not behind or in front of it.

I had time to consider Bob in the dream, I knew we were about to move across the state and live a completely different life, I wondered how having a baby would change our lives. I was also calculating how old I would be at each major stage of my baby's life, how old I would be when school started, during graduation, marriage and such. It was also noted that Bob wasn't there in the dream, that was OK though, he was getting our west Texas-off grid home ready.

In the dream I was delighted about becoming a mother again, even though I knew it would radically change my life. In real life, if I were to find out I was pregnant, well as I said above, I would live with it, I don't believe in abortion, especially if it's just a case of inconvenience. I would accept it and go on with my life, but it wouldn't be what I would want to have happen.

(*) The time frame for the dream was just before we moved to our off grid home, the time hints were the age of my son, being almost 18, my dad still being alive, trying to cash in stock (it was Best Buy employee stock), yet there were hints of today, going through peri-menopause, there were many more hints of this being a previous time rather than being in the present time.

(**) Over the years, I have had recurring dreams of military craft flying over the backyard of my dad's house, it is ALWAYS ominous, sometimes they stop and hover in the air, that is the scariest part. Sometimes in the dreams the aircraft crash in or near my dad's backyard, I always have a deep seated fear of what this means. In each of the dreams, the airplanes are always different, it's not an identical dream, but definitely a recurring theme. Also, the airplanes almost always come out of the west or a westerly direction, in this dream, it was very clear that it came out of the east, far far in the east, heading west.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Roses Roses

About a week and a half ago, I had an interesting experience over at a friend's house. I was over there, about to get ready to leave, when I smelled a very strong scent, it was the scent of roses, very strong, very definite, there was no mistaking the scent. I could only smell it in a certain area in the kitchen, I could walk into the "scent" space and out of it, I asked my friend if there was anything that could possibly smell like roses in her kitchen area and she assured me there was nothing.

She came over and sniffed the air, I could still smell it strongly, and she was well within the scent bubble, but she couldn't smell it at all, this was not subtle, it was strong and definite.

At one point it vanished, then it came back, in the same spot. I walked around sniffing the various things to see if it was coming from something, it was not the laundry, it was not the fruit in a bag nearby, it was not coming from anything, but it was in the air, in a certain area, a 3D scent bubble that I could detect the edges, where it was and where it wasn't.

My friend suggested that "Mother Mary" was known to have the scent of roses associated with her, well I am not a Catholic, I don't believe in praying to saints or Mary, I do not believe that had anything to do with what I was smelling.

Another possibility is my mother, she loved roses, she had a difficult time finding perfumes that she could wear, they tended to go sour on her, she blamed her chemistry. One of the few scents she could wear was one by Avon called Roses Roses, and yes, it smelled just like roses. I did NOT feel the presence of my mother, I didn't really "feel" anything, I just smelled the scent very strongly.

It eventually dissipated, I haven't smelled it since, it was very odd though, I don't usually smell things like that, I'm more a visual or auditory person, I see and hear things, I even sense the presence of things (feel them), sometimes they physically touch me, but it's so very rare for me to smell something like that...

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Gazing Into Glory - book pre-review

Here  is an interesting looking book, it's not often that I find authors that combine the supernatural with the Bible, even though the Bible is filled with what would be considered supernatural occurrences and happenings, all too many people consider those instances as "just for the Bible days", not for today, "colorful" stories but not what really happened, things like that and more... personally I believe, more than believe, I KNOW that the spiritual world is every bit as real (if not more real) than this physical world we temporarily reside within.

This book is free today only through Amazon, can't guarantee the price after today,
Gazing Into Glory: Every Believer's Birth Right to Walk in the Supernatural

I haven't read it yet so I can't give a review, I have skimmed through it and so far it looks pretty good, since it's free today I'll go ahead and post the link here for everyone, grab it, read it and decide if it's for you, if it's not then you can delete it and all it cost was a bit of your time :)

I'll write a proper review after I read it, but don't wait for my review if you want to get it free. Even if you don't have one of those e-readers, you can still download it and read it on your computer with the free app on Amazon.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Our Inner Garden...

Seeds, there are many kinds of seeds, they mostly come from plant life, seeds that are good for food, medicine and beauty. There are also bad seeds, honestly in nature there are no "bad plants", only the ones we don't wish to reap, such as weeds, noxious plants, invasive plants, poisonous plants, thorny plants...

If you plant watermelon seeds, you expect to get a watermelon vine, hopefully with watermelon fruit, if you plant corn seeds, you expect to get corn stalks with corn growing on them... how silly would it be to plant okra and expect to see peas growing??? What if we plant weed seeds, or if we don't cultivate our little piece of ground to remove the weed seeds that blow in from neighboring fields?  Then the good seeds we plant may be choked out by the weeds. The good seeds and plants can be delicate, they need tender loving care to sprout, grow and produce fruit. The weeds are hearty, they don't require care, in fact many thrive on stony, uncultivated, dry, hardened, ignored ground, they will steal the sun, moisture and nutrients that should be going toward your good crops.

There are other kinds of seeds, the ones we sow with our minds, our thoughts, our intentions and words. Make no mistake, what you sow you WILL reap. What kinds of thoughts go through your mind on a daily basis? Are they negative in nature? Even if you don't speak the words or perform an action, negative thoughts are just like weed seeds, and if you allow it free run of your mind, then this is what you will reap. Negative thoughts breed negativity in life, what do you think when you see yourself in a mirror? Are you thinking "I'm fat", "I'm too skinny", "I'm ugly", "I'm stupid", "My nose is too big", you get the idea... these are seeds that you are planting in your mind, seeds that will grow and choke out the good that you have inside.

How about changing those thoughts to positive ones, good seeds, things that will nourish you and make you smile? You can start out easy if you wish, find something you like about yourself and concentrate on that, no one is ugly, God created you and His creations are beautiful, there are many ways you can focus on the positive things, and saying them, even in the privacy of your own mind, it WILL create a beautiful garden inside of you, once you have that going on, that beauty will show to the world.

You can plant seeds in other people as well, how to you talk to other people? Especially those who are the closest to you? Sometimes our words are painful to the ones we love, it's not that we intend to cause pain, but words can hurt or words can build someone up, which are you doing? Do your words make your mate (or child or friend) smile or shrink away?

One of the best things I learned from PB was how to be kind, being in a relationship isn't a competition, we are on the same team, on the same side, it's us against the world. He goes out of his way to compliment me on a daily basis, if the kitchen is a wreck and I clean the stove, when he comes in, he doesn't point out the dishes in the sink or the dirty towels on the floor, he points to the stove and tells me what a good job I did on cleaning that. Guess what that makes me want to do??? It makes me feel good about myself and makes me want to please him even more.

Meals are the same way, he ALWAYS compliments me on the meals I make, even the ones that flop, he finds SOMETHING good to say about it. This taught me the value of words, he taught me the power of words. It took me a little time, but I consciously began to compliment PB more and more, at first it felt funny, forced, I meant what I was saying but I wasn't used to saying it that often, but as time went by it became easier and more natural, seeing how it makes him feel is my reward, that in turn makes him want to please me more.

It becomes a cycle, he makes me feel good, I make him feel good, we both feel good, it makes both of us want to be on the same team together, us against the world. Don't wait for your mate (or child, or friend) to start either, YOU start it and continue doing it, planting one seed will not a garden make, especially if you are also spreading noxious weed seeds, you need to plant lots and lots of positive seeds by saying nice, gentle things, compliments and stop spreading the weed seeds in there, even if you think your mate is throwing weeds toward you, if you are persistent, the good seeds will kill out the negative ones, don't forget that after you plant these seeds of good, you need to nurture them, planting them then ignoring them doesn't work very well, you must give them TLC and love.

So look at your inner garden, what is planted, what is growing? Is it weedy? Do you need to plant some positive seeds? Do you need to cultivate the soil? Do you need to remove some weeds?