Good Bye Daddy

Here I am, back and feeling better than ever. The last post I posted was about my dad, for those of you who read my other blog, you know that my dad passed away on July 30th, it was good, well as good as a death can be. Let me tell you about it.

Two days after writing my last post here that I had gotten back home, Sunday right after church, I received a phone call from my sister telling me that her hubby and their daughter were on their way to pick me up, I had 7 hours to get ready to go back to Fort Worth. I had been home for a week and one day.

I packed a bag, made some phone calls to let people out here know I would be gone for another little bit, and I waited for my brother in law and niece to arrive. They got here about midnight, I met them at the entrance to my neighborhood, kissed my hubby goodbye and started out on an overnight drive. We arrived in Fort Worth about 8ish in the morning, we went directly to the hospital. I went straight to my dad's room but was only able to stay less than a minute, the hospice people were there and wanted to talk to the family. Those few seconds I was in dad's room, I don't believe he even knew I was there, he had on a full face mask bi-pap machine, it assists in breathing. I couldn't see his face very clearly, and I was sure he couldn't see me, at least not enough to recognize me. He didn't respond at all to me walking in the room.

The hospice nurse told us that it would be next to impossible for us to take him home to die, something my dad wanted to do but had rejected the idea when we brought it up to him before, when he would have been healthy enough to make the trip back to his house. He balked at the idea of having hospice, I suppose it's not easy to accept the idea that one is about to die, he felt like he had more things to do.

We agreed that he would stay at the hospital and began calling family members and friends to come in and say goodbye. We knew he wouldn't see the end of the day. Within an hour or so, that room at the hospital, it was a cardiac ICU, was filled with people, friends, family, neighbors, it was amazing the number of people who showed up. Once the whole family was there (with the exception of 2 family members who were out of town), I told everyone to go outside into the hallway, I had each family member go into the room by themselves to say their final goodbyes. I am so thankful that we had the time and opportunity to do that. I didn't go in and talk to him alone, I had spent days and nights with him before and had already said everything that needed to be said in private.

As the day wore on, more and more people showed up, I am so thankful for the hospital, North Hills Hospital for allowing us to have so many people there, the room was full, we were spilling out into the hallway, and they never once said anything about having too many people there. I suppose they see a lot of people pass with no family or friends there. In fact, during the time I was there before, spending nights up there with dad, I had gone out into the hallway, it was dark and quiet. There had been a door to a room down the hall, there was a sign on the door that said "no visitors, see the nurse's desk", the room door was shut and no one went in or came out. Later that night, I saw the staff going into the room and quietly removing the patient, an older lady, they had her in a body bag, they had placed a hand made crocheted (granny squares) blanket over her, they quietly took her to an elevator that is for hospital staff only. I don't remember seeing anyone coming or going from that room, I wonder if she died alone...

Spending so much time in the hospital, I became very familiar with the routines and sounds of the hospital, and the spirit life there, and believe me, there is a lot of activity. A few hours before my dad passed, I was looking toward the door in the room. I saw a shadow figure go by very quickly, too quickly for a living person to have gone by, and less than a second later, another one, just like the first one flew by, I don't believe they had anything to do with my dad or that room, I believe I just happened to look up at the right time.

Being in the room while my dad was dying was quite an experience, I felt quite honored to be part of it, I talked to my dad nearly the whole time, we played gospel music, we sang, we prayed, we cried, we laughed, we told stories. Dad would respond from time to time, one thing he did was he hit his fist on the bed and said "I'm not ready!", even when you believe in an afterlife, it can be hard to face it, that final step can be a scary one.  I am convinced that he did pass on into Heaven though, about an hour before he breathed his last breath, he looked up toward the end of the bed and said "Hello Anita.", she was his oldest child, I had the honor of being by her side when she passed away some 5-6 years ago, we knew she was a saved Christian, I had been waiting for something like that to happen, I just didn't know who it would be, so when Dad acknowledged her, I felt comfortable that he was going to be OK.

Dad passed away later in the afternoon, he had been there long enough for the nurses, doctors and staff to get to know him, there were tears from them all, the nurses, the lady who cleaned his room, even his doctor there. That is part of the job, but it still doesn't make it any easier.

One of the things my dad and I discussed in the weeks before his death was if it was possible, he would come visit me, I do not actively seek it because I don't want to attract something else that might try to pretend to be my dad. I haven't had a visit from him, there was one dream I had where I thought it might have been him, but I feel quite certain by my response that it wasn't him, I'll talk about that in another post.

Things are ramping up...

Things have been more or less going pretty level spiritwise for the last few months, that is until the last few weeks, I have been seeing a jump in activity. The other night, I saw a willowy wispy form move in the air across the end of my bed, it was about 4-5 feet tall, pointy on the top and bottom, here is a picture of what it looked like to me. I only saw it for a few seconds, it moved across the end of the bed, closer to the ceiling than to the bed.

As I drew this, I realized it looks more like a flaming banana in the picture, you'll just have to take my word for it, I wasn't thinking flaming banana when I saw it. It did have a slight glow, it was brighter than the surrounding dark, and there is NO WAY this was a reflection of a vehicle going by, I live on a mountain side in a very isolated, rural area, with private roads that aren't traveled much during the day and almost no traffic at night. If it was a reflection, it wouldn't have happened at that part of my bedroom. This was 3 dimensional, floating through the air. As far as I can recall, this is the first time I've seen this particular shape. I don't know what to think of it as of yet, I just turned over and went to sleep.

I have been seeing more orb shapes, the strange thing about them is usually these are seen at night and they have a glow, what I have been seeing is almost the opposite, it's during the day, in the light and the orb is black, with fuzzy outlines, not a hard shape, these are about the size of a tennis ball and floating near the ground but not on the ground. I hate using the term "orb", that term has lots of connotations, but that is the best way to describe what they look like, a ball, usually glowing slightly, now these are dark, as if they are absorbing light instead of giving off light, like it's a negative, null or void space. Oh, and I usually see more than one at a time, usually 2 or 3 floating by, usually in an arc starting low and going higher then going back low again.

The last place I saw these dark orbs were at church, they floated past the end of the pew where I was sitting, I didn't care for the energy I felt, we are having a bit of a hiccup at church, our pastor (and his wife) resigned/retired a few weeks ago and have left. We are in the process of searching out a new pastor, for now we have been using temporary guest pastors. I have faith that God will bring us the right one, but for now things are a bit upside down. I suspect that is what is drawing whatever these are.

I believe we are living in Biblical end times, I also believe that the closer we get to and in the end times, the thinner the veil is between the physical and the spiritual, there are more and more spiritual sightings, more people are seeing things they can't explain or understand. Those of us who are used to seeing these things are more prepared for this, those who aren't used to it are having a hard time with it.

What do you think?

The Night My Mom Came For A Visit

Here is a strange occurrence that happened to me. This happened back in 87 or 88, my (now ex) husband and our almost 2 year old son were living in Oregon with my inlaws. We slept in the converted attic, my hubby and I had the room on one side, our son had the room on the other side. I was very close to my mom and missed her terribly, she was back in Texas. We didn't get to talk very often and I knew it would be a long time before I saw her again. This was the first time I had been this far away from home and my family.

Our bed was a double sized bed, we barely had enough room to sleep on this bed, we were constantly jostling for space. The bed was pushed against one wall, I slept on that side, so often times I was squished against the wall. One night,  I don't believe I had been alseep yet, I was being really pushed into the wall, I was laying on my back, I turned my head toward my hubby, I was about to ask for more room, or just gently push him over, before I could speak, I could see a third person in the bed between us. This was a full grown person, not our son, he was sleeping in a crib and couldn't get out. There was a bright light right outside the window so I could see clearly that there was another person in the bed.

I froze, not knowing exactly what I should do first, then I realized it was my mother! Now anyone who has a perverted mind can just go away right now, or at least thank me for the fantasy fodder. I could feel my mother's body up against mine, shoulder to shoulder, arm to arm, hip to hip, leg to leg. I wondered what I should do. I could clearly see her, feel her, I could also see my hubby on the edge of the bed, on the verge of falling off. I was very comforted by all of this, it reminded me of when I was a child, all of us kids would climb into bed with mom and dad, especially on the weekends, there was no safer or more comfortable place. So that night I was transported back to my childhood, albeit briefly. I was afraid to move, afraid it would all disappear. I stayed awake as long as I could, eventually I fell asleep. The next morning, I was disappointed to realize that she wasn't really there, though I knew in reality that she wouldn't be there. I asked my hubby if he remembered anything about the night before, he said that I was really crowding him.

The other thing I realized the next morning is that my mother was not wearing anything, I felt no clothing, no nightgown or anything. I thought this strange as my mother was always cold, especially at night, as far back as I could remember my mother wore nightgowns to bed, flannel in the winter, and lighter materials in the summer. This was in the middle of winter, so my mother should have been wearing SOMETHING to bed.

I called my mother that day to ask her if she remembered anything about the night before, she didn't, she said she slept just fine, then I asked her about sleeping in the nude, well to my surprise she told me that she had been sleeping in the nude for some time. Talk about a confirmation! I told her about what happened, she wasn't surprised about it at all, though she had no memory of it.

There were many other things that happened in my in-law's house in the time we lived there. This house was over 100 years old, it was in a historic district, which only meant that you had to go before a committee if you wanted to change the color of your house, or do anything that would affect the outside appearance of the house. Anyhoo, one thing that was always in the house was something referred to as a residual, I could see a man standing just outside the landing for the attic stairs, he was about to go up the stairs. He never moved or reacted, I didn't feel anything from him, he was merely a 3D snapshop, this was not a spirit, just a memory. I don't know what caused this residual to happen right there, but it was definitely there. He wore a red and black flannel, long sleeved shirt and either brown or dark tan pants. He has short, dark hair, I wonder if he was a logger. I couldn't see him if I looked directly at him, I had to use my peripheral vision.

Another thing that happened in that house was one weekend, my in-laws had gone out of town for the weekend. My hubby was taking a shower, I was chasing our son through the house, we were having fun. The bathroom door was open, I could hear things hitting the floor in the bathroom, then I heard my hubby yell at our son to stop it and get out. Well our son was with me, not in the bathroom. I went in there to see what he was yelling about, I could see toiletries and shaving stuff on the floor in front of the washer and dryer. My hubby would place a towel on the dryer and place his shaving and other things on top of the towel. It appeared that "someone" had pulled the towel part way off the dryer and some of the things were on the floor, the rest of it was not far behind.

I asked my hubby why was he yelling at our son, he replied that our son had been in there pulling on the towel, I informed him that our son had been with me the whole time, he had not gone into the bathroom, I even heard the stuff hitting the floor, we had been in the kitchen when that happened.

The shower was a walk in shower, with room for 2, the door was a sliding door with translucent glass, my hubby never said that he saw anyone, but SOMEONE pulled that towel, and no the washer and dryer were not running at the time. At first my hubby said that I had put our son up to doing that as a prank, eventually I convinced him that neither of us did it.

I was not happy living there, I missed my family very much, especially my mother. I didn't get along with my mother in law, we just had different opinions about nearly everything, from how to raise my son, what foods to cook, to what books I read from the library. I spent a lot of time upstairs in my room during the day, the only time I felt even semi-comfortable in the house was after everyone went to bed. I would sit up in the den watching TV. One night I felt something warm and furry rub against my feet. I pulled my feet up and looked, I saw nothing. The only light in the room was coming from the TV. This felt like a small cat or kitten. This happened nearly every night after that, I never saw anything, I just felt the furry sensation on my feet. There were no animals in that house, at least not ones that anyone could see. :) This was comforting to me.

That is about everything I can remember, it seems like a lot, but this took place over a 9 month period. I spent the winter and spring in Oregon, and as pretty as Oregon is, and as nice as the people there are, all I wanted to do was go home to Texas. I finally got my wish and I have not left Texas since. :)